Is Human Design the Answer to Career Burnout?
An extended version of this article was also shared on Medium.
This year, I experienced complete and total Burnout. I went from being a generally satisfied worker at my corporate job to being depressed, frustrated, and nearly unable to get out of bed. Yes, I was working long hours. Yes, I had recently had a promotion to a new and challenging role. However, this was something different.
The reality was — my job was going well. My accounts were growing, my employees were motivated and supported, and my clients saw me as a positive asset. The issue wasn’t with the outside world’s perception of me — it was an issue with what I was doing in the outside world and how it affected me inside.
More than once I laid on the sofa at night drained beyond belief and feeling something deep inside hurting and aching, crumbling in on itself. No stranger to intense spiritual initiations, I wasn’t panicked but I finally had to admit that I knew what the message was — I was dying.
Was my body dying? No. I was generally healthy, if not exhausted and living with chronic tension headaches that had a habit of appearing by 1 pm every day at the office.
It was something deeper.
As I’ve discussed before here, I did eventually leave my job, because the Burnout was so severe. I was so done feeling dead inside that I faced my fears of having to pay a mortgage with no job and I quit. At home during my first few weeks of recovery, I desperately searched for information. What exactly was Burnout? How did it happen? How had I gotten here? How could I heal? And, most importantly, how could I prevent it in the future?
WHAT IS BURNOUT
The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines Burnout as “exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.”
The World Health Organization also updated its definition in May 2019, calling it a “syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”
At its core, Burnout is exhaustion that is not cured by sleep and goes much deeper than just the physical body. It’s exhaustion that robs a person of their drive, motivation, and reason for living.
OUR COLLECTIVE UNDERSTANDING OF BURNOUT
Burnout has gotten a lot of coverage over the last few years. An article called “How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation” made waves earlier this year. And, even though they don’t recognize it as a medical issue, the Mayo Clinic believes it is prevalent enough to cover on its website. Reading these two articles made me feel better — ok, what I was feeling was real. However, they still didn’t seem to be going deep enough. This article by Kieran Tie got closer to what I was feeling, because it expanded the definition of Burnout to being not just overworked, but also misaligned. Burnout could also be about expending our work energy in a way that didn’t match what we value. I felt I was getting closer to understanding the full depth of Burnout.
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
Looking back on the five years at my job, my Burnout only happened in the final nine months. I reviewed the year and concluded that, for me, it wasn’t only the long hours but also how my time was spent.
Previously during a challenging time or a big push, there was always an end in sight. The deadline for the launch or project would eventually arrive, or the pressing issue would be resolved. I could see the finish line to my long hours, and everything would return to a more normal pace.
However, this time, that never happened. It was a combination of factors. The most important part of healing in life is taking responsibility for what is yours, and not taking responsibility for what isn’t.
As far as what wasn’t my responsibility? I felt like I was having the same conversations over and over with leaders who pretended to care but didn’t take any action. We were running lean, which constantly put my focus time and work-life balance at risk. I was voicing my needs and opinions and it felt like they were never heard. I would have the same conversations with my boss over and over yet very little changed. Every day was Groundhog Day, and I felt I was dealing with the same problems again and again, but the people who could solve them weren’t taking action. It was like screaming into the void. I was exhausted, angry, fed up, and so, so frustrated. I felt like I was being used; that I was disposable and sub-human, and my thoughts, opinions, health, and well-being didn’t matter.
As far as what was my responsibility? What I didn’t realize was that the ladder I was climbing wasn’t my ladder — it was someone else’s. I wasn’t thinking about who I was and what I truly wanted. I didn’t even know specifically what that was! That’s where I got into trouble.
I had climbed the ranks faster than anyone in my area of the company in those 5 years. I had decent boundaries between my work life and my private time, I was motivated, positive, and happy to contribute. So, what had shifted? When I reviewed it, I realized the first two positions I held at the company were in alignment with who I was. I had the opportunity to be connected to a team and clients but work mostly independently. I got to lead initiatives, but still had lots of unstructured time which gave me a feeling of freedom throughout the day. I worked hard and I intermittently worked long hours, but I had some flexibility regarding when I did my tasks. I had no idea that what I valued about my job was that flexibility and independent time and space to come up with creative solutions.
In my new role, I had 5–8 hours of meetings per day. I’m a leader and a warm person, but I’m an intuitive, highly sensitive introvert and being around other people’s energy for that much of the day was exhausting. I wasn’t getting the time I needed to recharge, gather myself, process what had happened that day, and strategize how to move my client and my team forward.
HUMAN DESIGN AND BURNOUT
I found Human Design shortly after I did all my research on Burnout. I feel this was no coincidence. Human Design shows us where we as individuals get our energy from, how we express it, and how to work best with it. Is it by doing the things we love? By being around others? Does it come in fits and starts? Can we control it with our minds? Do we have to surrender to the synchronicities of the world around us? Then, it tells us how to make the right decisions for ourselves as we interact with the world. Do we wait for others to invite us in? Do we go directly for what we want? Do we talk it out with others? Do we respond to a gut feeling, an intuitive hit, or an emotional feeling? Do we wait 30 days, or decide right now or decide tomorrow? Human Design tells you what decision-making “Strategy” is best for you, and where inside yourself your guidance will come from (known in Human Design as Authority). The most amazing thing about Human Design is that it recognizes that we are all different.
The reality is that the ladders that are out there to climb…they’re always a trap. They’re a trap because they operate under the illusion that we are all somehow the same. That we’re built the same and wired the same, and deep down operate the same way, and that one singular destiny could be right for all of us, or even a group of us. Sometimes an internal drive might match up with an external ladder, but that should be a mere coincidence. Inside, we all know the path that will be the most successful, satisfying, lucrative, peaceful, and delightful for us. It has just been silenced under the outside pressures we’ve faced our whole lives.
If we are constantly entering into things that are not right for us, we get drained. Being drained is at the heart of Burnout. Human Design has shown me, in a concrete, practical, and actionable way, how to choose to involve myself in what is right for me and avoid getting drained. Within my Human Design Chart, I learned that it’s vital for my “Type” to do work that we care about. That we are indeed at a huge risk for feeling “used” and burning out if we don’t. My chart also showed me how to know if I should say yes to an opportunity or not. It confirmed that I make my best contributions when I set my schedule and work at my own pace. I learned that I am naturally very sensitive to the emotions of the people around me, and that alone time to reset is vital to my existence. Learning about my Chart changed my life because it permitted me to be me, and confirmed that the structure of my job wasn’t aligned with my path for satisfaction at work.
Now that I left an environment that didn’t fit me, my creations and contributions are deeply satisfying, anxiety is a rare occurrence, and I’m on the way to building something of my own, which is what I wanted all along.
The most amazing thing about Human Design is that we all know what is and isn’t working for us if we’re completely honest with ourselves. It puts the power back inside of us if we are willing to trust ourselves. Trusting yourself is a radical way of living in today’s world, but I can tell you, it’s worth it.
NEXT STEPS
If you’re new to Human Design, you can get your chart here, find out which of the five Types you are, and begin to learn what Human Design can tell you about your unique traits and decision-making process.
Love,
Rachel
Make sure to keep in touch!