Reflections on 2+ Years of Total Deconditioning
Hi everyone!
Wow, it has been almost years since I wrote a deconditioning update.
Needless to say, the changes in my life have only accelerated, so I wanted to share some reflections on what has happened recently in my Human Design experiment.
1. I have found that I CAN support myself doing what I love to do
When I began this deconditioning experiment, the big question was - can I financially support myself by doing things that I enjoy?
The answer is a resounding yes. I was almost entirely new to the online business space when I started Pure Generators. It was terrifying, and a lot of the most difficult inner work I've done over the last two years has been around putting myself and my work out into the world unapologetically. As a completely open-hearted individual, I don't always have a sense of conviction that what I'm doing is important or valuable. It took some time to realize that I don't need that to do what I am doing. Not only that, but as a 1/3 Profile, I'm honestly not really here to focus too much on the "other" anyway.
It has become clear that making money in the New Paradigm is mostly about understanding how we operate and going with that instead of working against ourselves. It takes time to understand these layers, shed the programs we've taken on throughout our lives, and actually understand what works for us (and implement it), but when we do, it works. Our inner Authority truly will lead us to the people who can support us with the things that don't energize us, and there are so many different ways to do business and make money. What works for one person will not work for another, and even if it doesn't logically make sense, if we are enjoying what we are doing, it will magically work.
I'm not a millionaire YET (lol), but my business supports me, is growing by leaps and bounds year over year, and what I do is satisfying and joyous. I feel deeply grateful to be creating as my true self, and I honestly feel like I'm just getting started.
2. It really is all about the satisfaction
I had a period earlier this year where I started paying too much attention to my external achievements and tracking to those as my north star. When I did this, I was successful. However, it felt terrible and therefore was not sustainable (and threw me into an excruciating dark night of the soul). I wasn’t creating the wrong things, but I was missing out on the experience of satisfaction, which is an inside job.
MAGIC UNFOLDS when I become clear on what I want to achieve, hold that inside as a desire, and then focus on my daily satisfaction. My energy increases exponentially, my Sacral Authority speaks clear and loud, and inspiration and possibilities seem to magnetize from every direction at the perfect moment.
The achievements (money, growth, reach, etc.) seem to come as a natural by-product of focusing on my satisfaction. Every day, I try to ask myself - "What are my desires?" coupled with, "And where does my energy REALLY want to go today?" For me, this seems to be the ideal equation.
3. I need a lot less sleep than I thought I did
I have found that when I'm genuinely energized by life, something interesting happens - I need a lot less sleep. This doesn't mean I don't rest much because I do. Every day, I usually spend a couple of hours horizontal on my couch watching documentaries, hanging out with my family, or catching up with my favorite YouTubers. My energy flow lets me know when it's time to do this! However, when I am aligned, I find that I only need 7-8 hours of sleep per night (sometimes less), and I get excited to wake up in the morning and get going on what I'm doing. As someone who is not a morning person, this is a massive change from the sense of dread I used to feel in the morning.
4. I fall in and out of all of this alignment I'm talking about.
I just do. I have periods where I lose the plot, which seems to be part of the deconditioning process, especially in the first few years. I head in the wrong direction, get disconnected from my energy, feel depressed, and get sucked into doing things I'm not really liking.
However, I'm noticing that I'm getting better and better at recognizing it, it happens less frequently, and I can get out of it faster. As a Generator, there is nothing worse than using my energy to do something draining (but I don't realize it) and then needing to make a pivot. I don't pivot quickly or easily. As time goes on, I'm better at recognizing the early signs so I can avoid the frustration of hitting a dead end.
Thank you for listening to my reflections. What have you been learning about yourself lately?
Love,
Rachel
Make sure to keep in touch!