When You're a Generator Who Doesn't Like Your Job
The Generator expression of life through energizing, purposeful work is truly beauty in motion, but it’s also a challenge. Our culture is currently full of so much fear and conditioning around the energetic sacrifices that we believe we have to make to be financially successful (or even just survive) that taking on the role of meaningful work is not easy. If you’re a Generator who is finding yourself in the transition between working at a job that doesn’t energize you, and one that does, take a moment to shower yourself with extra compassion.
Everyone’s story will be different, but for me, I found that the most challenging thing as a Generator was that even if I knew that there was a change I needed to make, I couldn’t control when or how it would happen. As Generators, our lives are a constant co-creation with the universe, facilitated by our open and enveloping auras. For us, knowing something in our minds and being able to manifest it doesn’t typically happen at the same time. We are here to know ourselves, but then we have to turn that knowing over to the universe and trust that our Sacral response and Authority is guiding us to where we need to go.
THE REALIZATION
If you’ve realized that you need to make a change, congratulate yourself. This is more than half the battle. It’s easy to get so deep into the conditioning that you completely forget what it even feels like to be energized and enthralled by what you’re doing. If you’ve remembered that whatever you’re doing isn’t it, then that is the first and most important step.
It’s hard to admit that something in our life isn’t working, or even to progress to the place where you are open to making a change - in our culture this kind of vulnerability isn’t typically celebrated. Admitting the need for change can seem like you’re admitting you’ve made a mistake. Not the case. On a soul level, outgrowing something and needing to make a change is an achievement and a testimony to your expansion and growth.
DEALING WITH CONDITIONING
Just because you’ve realized that you want to make this change doesn’t mean that you don’t fear it. Generators have to develop a deep relationship with fear - fear of existing outside of the conditioning we’ve taken on so deeply, and fear of the unknown. We literally have to place our lives, livelihoods, and biggest dreams into the hands of the unseen, the universe. In reality, they were always there, but the scary part is acknowledging it. We don’t have control, at least not with our minds. This is not something we are exactly taught from a young age, so at first it will feel unnatural and provoke a lot of fear.
The idea that it’s acceptable (or even necessary) to be drained by a job is so prevalent that it seems almost crazy to imagine a world where we aren’t. If you think back on your life, you might see that it began very early. If you were a teenager who had insomnia, felt bored by a large part of school, or took classes not because you enjoyed them but because you believed they would help you get a job or gain college admission...it had already begun. Even just the school system in itself - it’s so limiting and lacks openness to all the different iterations of energy in the form of humans that exist here.
For Generators, this takes on an additional intensity because you’re more likely to pour all your energy into your job or education, thinking this is the solution. Your boundless energy wants to go somewhere, so you put it where you think it should be. In reality, often times it’s not the right vessel.
ACTION, GENERATOR-STYLE
The great thing about being a Generator is that if we can get over all the worries and fear associated with our conditioning, we don’t have to do much more than be present and in tune with ourselves. If anyone tells you “Just quit your job!” and this creates a blocked sensation inside of you, that advice isn’t for you. This is a leap that has to be made in total alignment with your internal state and sacral response. If you’re wanting to work for yourself or pursue a side project, there will be so much advice out there. Some people will say to save money and then leave. Some will say to build the side business up gradually until you can safely leave. The reality is that all of this is just ideas, and none of this advice is actually of any relevance to you unless it provokes a sense of peace or knowing within.
The same goes for if you would like to make a change to a different career or job with a focus that is exciting to you. You might not just be able to go out there and make it happen. You might feel like you have no influence over your life and it’s easy to spiral into feeling like you are a failure. It’s just not true. This is how your energy works.
As a Generator, you don’t have to have a plan. You just have to be present. You know what you want, you’ve put it out there by acknowledging it within yourself, and now the world is trying to bring it to you.
WHAT TO DO IN THE MEANTIME?
Personally, it took almost 4 years between when I realized that my job didn’t fulfill me to when I left. Had I known that the day that I broke down and admitted to myself that I wanted more, I probably would have lost my mind. In reality, looking back, it all played out perfectly. I was guided, supported, and loved by the flow of life. Practically, here is where my Sacral response (and Sacral Authority) took me over those four years:
I accepted new projects or opportunities at work that were exciting or felt expansive for me and gained a lot of skills that I know will serve me in the long run. These weren’t consistent, but they were there, and I made the best of them. If your sacral is keeping you somewhere, it’s because there is something there for you that is important to experience.
I was energized by taking on a leadership role, and gained a lot of confidence in myself and my abilities. I was even asked to spend 2 months at a foreign office in a dream location where I continued my inner growth and - more than that - enjoyed my life and work.
I gave myself the space to pursue all of my interests on the side. I took classes, experimented with new materials, and traveled. I healed, learned, and worked on myself. I remained grateful that my job was supporting me financially in doing these things.
I tried to leave my job at least 2 times when I got impatient and fed up. In both cases, I got an interview or job offer but my Sacral stopped me from accepting. Both of these experiences showed me what I valued in my current situation.
I saw and experienced all the things that didn’t work for me. All the Sacral no’s that I had to ignore on a daily basis to keep doing the job I had agreed to do. I kept note of these, and from these “no” moments, I began to construct a true vision of what an energizing life tailored perfectly to my purpose and energy would look like.
My job brought beautiful people into my life - soulmates, friends, and even my life partner. I know that these meetings were meant to be, and the channel that brought them to me was this corporate job that I knew I was eventually meant to leave. We never know how the most meaningful things in our lives will come to us, so it’s important to not judge the messenger.
Looking back on those 4 years, I have no regrets. Even though my mind wanted to rush to the next chapter and prove to myself and others that I was free, I’m glad I honored my internal guidance and stayed. In reality, I was always free. My destiny was unfolding and the perfect opportunities for my success, healing, and growth were right in front of my face, and also being lined up for the future.
FINALLY LEAVING
For a Generator, your Sacral will speak when it’s time to leave. The moment may be unpredictable, and hard to wrap your mind around, but it’s safe to honor it. For me, the positive parts of my life at work spiraled into darkness in the final 9 months. I had accepted a promotion that my Sacral said yes to, but the way it played out didn’t honor my energy. I ended up in situations that provoked me to push myself so hard that I fell into a classic Burnout. I lost track of myself and my happiness, and the things that gave me energy. I could never get enough rest, and I would spend half the weekend sleeping. I was always watching the clock and trying to out-race it. I felt like a shell of myself.
It could be easy to say - why did my Sacral betray me? Why did it take me to a situation that was so harmful to my health and mental health? However, I know it didn’t. Your Sacral, and your Authority, aren’t necessarily here to take you to the easiest place to go. You’re here to experience things deeply, to gain mastery over your lifetime in the things that excite you and make you happy to be alive. Earth is a place of duality - love/hate, acceptance/fear, black/white, confusion/clarity. Experiencing one side of these dualities is typically the most efficient way to move forward, and also the way to experience the richness of life.
I’m thankful my Sacral took me to this place of burnout. I know that my fears around money and my own capabilities were so deep and my conditioning had such a hold on me that it would have been a challenge to move forward without this experience of contrast between who I was becoming and who I wanted to be. I became so miserable that I started to gain confidence to move forward that I had lacked before. Sure, there was fear, but this wasn’t exactly a comfortable place to be either.
The moment I knew I could leave was one afternoon on a random Wednesday. Someone came over and said something to me that made me feel negative and small. It was seemingly inane, and it was the kind of interaction I had dealt with hundreds of times over my career. This time was different. The response from my Sacral was intense, guttural, and overpowering. It said “NOOOOOOOO.” In that moment, I knew this wasn’t where my energy was supposed to go anymore. There was no more for me to gain from being in this environment. I said to myself - I’m wasting my life. If I continue with this, I will learn nothing else, receive no more wisdom, gifts, or skills for the future. That’s when I knew it was time to leave.
MOVING ON
After that moment, the waves of fear came, and I waited them out. I honored them, and then I moved forward. According to my mind, was it the perfect time? Well, no. I didn’t have the money saved that would have made me feel “safe” (if that’s even a thing) and I had more expenses than I’d ever had in my life (mortgage, car payment, payment on a new computer, etc). However, I knew what I had to do. My Sacral had made the decision.
Sometimes I still can’t believe that this moment came. Ever since I got out of that environment, I’ve experienced intense waves of fear, but mostly freedom, excitement, satisfaction, and an energetic aliveness I had completely forgotten was possible. I used to go to bed anxious and wake up anxious, and now I go to bed satisfied with what I’m doing and excited to continue the next day. The future is completely uncertain, but so far amazing possibilities that I didn’t even perceive previously have surfaced and come to me to support the path I am on. I try to suspend judgment, making plans, or trying to control my destiny. My life is built one response at a time.
So, if your job is draining you, keep following your Strategy and Authority. See where it takes you. You may find life force gems and excitement that you were missing. You may be able to move on from the situation and catapult into your future faster than you expected. The important part is that you are owning your power by following your internal guidance system. Support yourself and offer yourself compassion. Let the universe handle the rest.
Love,
Rachel
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